Breakthrough

And not as in the Queen song.

There has been something in my life that has haunted me for a long time. I don't want to fully disclose what it was, just for personal sake. But whenever something would happen that reminded me of that event I would get flashbacks to that awful time and I would freak out. Kick, scream, punch, cry. Whatever the reaction, it wasn't pleasant. That had happened for the last 6 years as vicious and raw an emotion as it had ever been.

For the first time, this week, the trigger occurred, but nothing happened. It's gone. Someone in particular helped me get over it. The horrible memories are replaced with good ones. I couldn't believe it.

But that's also scary. The fact that he could banish something that plagued me for so long, in so little time. Perhaps it was just natural getting over it, but I don't know. All I know is that its gone and he's the new thing I think about. The vulnerable scared shitless side of me is going crazy right now. But at the same time I'm happy.

I don't think this post made any sense.